I just get sick and tired of living sometimes. It’s such a struggle finding the resources to carry on. Doctors can’t help. Therapy is useless. Been there, done that, more times than I care to remember. I’m not looking for sympathy or anyone telling me things will get better! I know people who’ve killed themselves, a close relative, and several friends, there’s been times when I’ve envied them.

I feel that there is nothing for me to do anymore. I want to kill myself but I just can’t. I am my parents hope and I asked my mom once “Mom, how will you feel if I died?” She said “I will have no reason to live anymore” and I said to myself I want to die but there is someone who loves me and I’ll be selfish If I kill myself. I still struggle but I try to remember those people who loves me and think that I might be hurting now but I’ll take away something from them that might mean the world to them. Especially my mom.

I’m not planning to do anything yet, but I’ve got pills stashed away just in case. HI HI HI